This is a more personal blogpost than usual, a Plutonian reflection written as I process and move away from the most incredible of years.
Some of you know by now that my daughter Ruth, my only child, took her own life at 29 years of age, on 6th September of 2021, at my home in Kenmare.
Many of you reading this never met her, though many of you did and will know her spirit touched people’s lives in so many ways.
Ruth was as Plutonian as they get, with her Sun, Mars, Mercury and Pluto all in Scorpio in her seventh house, hence her Descendant was also in Scorpio ruled by Pluto.
We had been, to my eternal heartache, estranged since shortly after my late mother’s death last year, and when she reached out to me in utter despair three weeks before her death, I went to Dublin to collect her. She shared the anguish of her ongoing mental health struggles with me in harrowing detail, but kept most of the details of her other struggles back from me.
When those we love unconditionally and would do anything in our power to help, choose only to share some of what they are struggling with, with us, then how can we possibly help them as much as if they shared their struggles in their entirety?
Astrology is an extraordinary source of insight in my life, but free will is its own powerful force. Ruth professed a disdain for astrology one minute. At other times however, she would ask me questions sufficiently detailed enough for me to know that, in fact, she did feel there was something in it. She even joined our astrology class for lunch one day in Dun Laoghaire, County Dublin. turning up dramatically late. She immediately eyeballed my teacher, throwing the toughest questions she could think of at him!
I gain comfort that Ruth’s long struggles are over, and that she is still with all of us who loved her, everywhere we go. May you rest in eternal peace, at long last my child.
Taking time to write and reflect
As I reflect back on a year of unimaginable loss, I know the next while is going to be a profoundly inward time for me. After a time when ploughing forward seemed the best way to cope with such a devastating bereavement I am exploring my feelings more fully through the writing that gives me such solace.
And I find that the more I write, the more I heal. As the new year progresses, I will share more news on projects that are near completion, almost ready to begin their journey out into the world.
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