It has been suggested to me recently that I share my story of healing after many, many years of pain, grief and loss, so I have decided to do so.
Many of you know that my daughter Ruth – my only child – took her own life on 6th September 2021, aged 29. As the saying goes, my life turned on a dime that day. She was only recently living with me in Kenmare and we had thankfully been reconciled after a year and a half of estrangement.
My quadruple Aquarian mother had died, aged 92, in January 2020, just six weeks before the world went into lockdown. Shenanigans about my late mother’s will necessitated a return to Ireland from Portland, Oregon, to ensure I got my inheritance. A task that took two and a half years to complete. The housing crisis had got worse since I had moved to the USA and I had to move around a lot, as well as move my business online overnight. Like many others.
Those were dark days back in Ireland in summer of 2020. Six weeks in BnBs and hostels whilst looking for someone to live. Then I got a house half way up a mountain outside Kenmare and things started moving. I re started meditation and IST therapy through the Clairvision school online and healing slowly started.
Covid restrictions were still in full force and I saw only one person a week, my admin assistant. My 12th house astrology chart was OK with that though! I was having two IST sessions a week and slowly saw how much my late mother had indeed loved me. Something I had not always clearly seen.
Slowly I healed. I did yoga online. Then I learnt to paint online. I made some friends locally in Kenmare and, as restrictions lifted, I was able to get out and about more. It all helped. I met up with cousins locally and support from people in my extended family helped.
I had extensive astrology sessions to learn more about what the higher lessons were for me. The house I was in had endless water problems, and, when a space clearer told me “that’s not your path” to be fighting all these water issues, I moved. The kitchen flooded the night before I left! And yes, I was going through major Neptune transits at the time.
Letting go of the past
Neptune was conjunct my South Node, which is in Pisces. An almost two-year transit. So there was a deep theme of flushing out old ways of being and of living. Flushing out, healing and releasing aspects of being the victim. A total letting go of the past, generations of it. Deeply transformative healing. It wasn’t easy, but I did the work.
In May 2021, my house rental was up. After six weeks of bouncing once again from BnB to BnB, I found another long-term rental in Kenmare. Two weeks after I moved in, my daughter contacted me. It was time for her and her ex-girlfriend to leave my mother’s home. She had fallen apart totally. She had in fact been out of work for a year and her relationship was over. She was totally suicidal.
I collected her in Dublin and got her into emergency therapy sessions in Kenmare. She had put her house up for sale but had no idea where she then wanted to live. Those three weeks with Ruth were the most harrowing of my life. But I would not change one minute of them. She knew how hard things had been for me, she knew I forgave her for all that had gone on since my mother’s passing.
Three weeks later, Ruth was dead. My Pluto in the fourth house, she died in my home. How have I healed and begun to move forward? Read how in my next blog post on 31st May.
Book a professional astrology consultation
Gain fresh insights into your life’s purpose and potential and achieve personal growth using the power of astrological insight.